


Dead to me.

by soriksorik



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Angst, F/M, Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 13:51:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18605830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soriksorik/pseuds/soriksorik
Summary: This is what happened, in my headcanon, after Sarek found out Amanda was hiding Spock in the sacred crypt.(Written by Sarina)





	Dead to me.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He bellowed, the door slamming behind him, almost adding threat to what he had already said although his tone had been nothing short of leveled. “Why did you think it was best to keep this from me?”

Amanda turned to glare at him, refusing to keep her ‘human’ emotions at bay. She may come to regret it later, but right now, there wasn’t an ounce of regret in her body. He hadn’t watched their son fall into madness on a daily basis after she had found him. He hadn’t watched their son barely holding on to sense, attempting his best to return to reality. He hadn’t been the one hopelessly clutching onto their child in a fruitless attempt to bring him back.

“I was protecting him,” she said, turning to face her husband as she allowed her eyes to narrow. “Because I knew very well that the moment you found out where he was, you would hand him over to Starfleet yourself.”

“It was the logical thing to do.”

“Yes, but it wasn’t right…” Amanda cut in, throwing her hands up in the air. “It isn’t what parents are meant to do when their children are in trouble.”

His expression did not waver, however, his eyes spoke volumes. They had always been her windows into his soul, the only thing that let her know how he was feeling. Amanda had always seen him, even if he had done his best to lock her out. She could see him now, too, and she was using it to hurt him the same way he had just hurt her.

“You might as well have thrown our child into prison using your own hand,” she pressed, relentless, her gaze burning into his. “You know better than I what Section 31 and Starfleet will do to him.”

She watched Sarek shake his head, “why would you worry about his safety if he is innocent? Unless, of course, you know that he is not.”

His brow rose in an inquisitive manner and Amanda gasped in disbelief. How could he think something like that about Spock? She was well aware that their relationship wasn’t the best, and thus, Sarek did not know him the way that Amanda did, however, she still couldn’t believe he would think something so cruel about their child.

“Spock is not a murderer,” she snapped.

“It is what you sa—”

“Are you listening to yourself right now?” Amanda couldn’t believe her ears. “Do you truly think that our child is capable of murder?”

“If you hid him from me, it can only mean one thing.” Sarek pressed without mercy, in the same way that she was doing.

They were headstrong people, and although they fought rarely, when arguments did arise the situation did not tend to end well. 

“I was trying to protect him from Starfleet,” she repeated, this time, her tone rising in both anger and pain. “I was also trying to protect you, from yourself.”

Instead of saying something, as she had expected that he would, he simply tilted his head. He clearly did not understand what she meant.

“You know better than I do that Section 31 will not look for the guilty. They will take Spock into custody, creating whatever evidence they need to keep him locked away until the end of his life. We don’t know what they will do to him there… what they could be doing to him right now.” Amanda’s hands had curled into fists without her noticing it, and she slowly allowed her fingers to relax, restoring blood flow to her palms. Slowly, she moved towards him, bringing her hands up to cup his face.

Her gaze scanned his, for a moment, before she sighed, “I know you, husband. I know that you care about our children, that you love them as strongly as I do. I know that the thought of something happening to Spock kills you as much as it does me.”

She took a deep breath, smoothing her thumbs over his cheekbones, her bright blue eyes burning into his darker ones. She could see that he was conflicted, and a part of her hoped that she could use that to guide him to the correct path. Was she manipulating him? Perhaps. However, if it helped their son, was it really such a crime?

“You can still help him, Sarek,” she whispered, her tongue running over her bottom lip as she inhaled a shaky breath. “Please, my love… please. Help our son.”

Amanda watched for a moment. Sarek seemed to be contemplating her words, almost attempting to fight the ‘logical thing to do’ and allow his heart to take over, for once. She almost hoped that it would, that her husband truly was the man she believed that he could be. She hoped the man that she had married, one that had always been curious about exploring his emotions and capabilities, would take over just this once and that the politician he had become, driven by nothing but logic, could be put aside.

However, Sarek stepped back, out of her touch. Amanda allowed her hands to drop to rest at her sides and in a moment, a veil came over him and he turned his head away.

Amanda held her breath.

“I trust Starfleet.” He finally said, not looking at her as he did so. She could see that his jaw had tensed, and that there was, indeed, a certain unease to him. At least, she had achieved that.

“I love you, Sarek. I do… I love you more than life itself. I have risked everything for you, and I would again, in a heartbeat, but… if something happens to Spock,” she whispered, locking her hands in front of her. “I will never forgive you. You will be dead to me…”


End file.
